‘tis the season, OR, porn in a manger.
i just got a few christmas xxx titles through work. i know, it starts earlier and earlier. here are the titles, and the synopses that were provided with them.
- Barely Legal: Ski Camp (2004)
- Cold nights, warm cabins…and steaming young pussies! Welcome to Barely Legal Ski Camp, where the hottest legal teens spend the winter. Cuddle up next to the fire with yummy ski bunnies!
this one is barely christmas related, nor is it clever. though, after a long day on the slopes, i do like to warm my hands over a steaming vagina. C-
- Barely Legal: The Bitch That Stole Christmas (2008)
- Watch the horny helpers gulping cock and lapping sweet pussy lips! While Santa is away, his staff has an all out fuck fest! These nasty girls are ready to spread them wide open with cheer!
this summary fails to specify whether the film features Elven fucking. points granted for “horny helpers” and “wide open with cheer”. not enough grinch-sex puns. i would’ve loved a “cindy-lou blew” or even “you’ve got a big dick, mr. grinch”.
- Barely Legal: Christmas (2007)
- This holiday season engulf yourself in tits, tinsel and twats! Santa’s helpers need their cochies kissed! We wanna lick your jingle balls!
this is kind of all over the place, but the thought of engulfing myself in tits kind of made it work for me. surefire classic. wait a tick - “WE wanna lick your jingle balls?” Who is we? Is the descriptor one of Santa’s Helpers enticing me, or is it just a group of weird dudes describing porn? Either way, facebook me.
- Christmas In Memphis (2006)
- Santa’s horny helpers deliver festive holiday humpings, play with toys for twats, and enjoy 3-way sleigh rides! Unwrap Memphis Monroe’s box this holiday season!
my buddy dave just informed me that Christmas in Memphis usually entails a can of fake snow and a crack-pipe. the hollywood studios always dress it up a bit, don’t they? the book version is always better than the film, and the real life version is always more concerned with humping, twat-toying, and 3-way sleigh rides in EXCHANGE for crack.
